Remember what it was like to be 20? Young, fresh, and energetic. Finally out of your dreaded teen years. Free from parental dictatorship. Looking straight ahead to the endless possibilities coupled with your dreams that had not yet been deferred or dashed. First apartments, new cars, first “adult” relationships. Deciding on college majors, acing job interviews, and landing the “good jobs”. Twenty minute guidance counselor meetings charted your course work for the next two years. Twenty minute phone calls from lovers charted your life for the next twenty years. Sleep was optional. Sex was mandatory. Eating was indulgent. Partying never ended… “Didn’t We Almost Have It All”?!…

20 seems so long ago now. I look back at the girl I was and all I can do is laugh inside.  How I wish I could go back in time. I wish I could go back and tell her what roads she will travel. What she needs to know about herself and others. Maybe she would be wiser. Maybe she would be more successful. Maybe she would define success differently. Maybe she wouldn’t have had so much pain. The ironic part is, even if I could go back, my 20-year-old self wouldn’t have listened. She knew everything! No one could come in and tell her about her! (Not even me). We tend not to listen to experience until we’ve had some of our own.

Well, I decided to write to her. While it may be too late for me, somewhere there is a 20-year-old who needs to know.

Dear 20,

I know you’re just getting started and the last thing you want is a another lecture or lesson. Please, just humor me for a second. I am writing to you because I am concerned. I have come to learn a few things that I want you to consider along the way. Now, I know what you’re thinking, and you’re right! You are full of life and ready to forge ahead without hesitation or reservation, as you should be. My goal is not to promote fear. I want to encourage you. My hope is help you navigate in a world that you have yet to know. May you come to know yourself and others sooner rather than later. May your road be more gratifying and less stressful and painful as a result.

Since your life is so fast-paced I thought a list would better illustrate my point. You like lists, right?… Just remember that it’s not an all-encompassing list. You’ll add to it along the way.

1. Less talking, more listening. You don’t know everything. In fact, you know very little about a lot.
2. The very moment you turn your back on God is when you will need Him the most.
3. Your parents aren’t always right but listen to them anyway. You are the best and worst parts of them. Honor them by living a life worthy of their work and sacrifice.
4. Smell the roses.
5. Spend more time with people, not tasks.
6. No matter how much money you make, it will never be “enough”. Be a good steward over what you have.
7. Loneliness is a state of mind. You are never alone. God will never leave you or forsake you.
8. You will not die from a broken heart. Rise from the ashes.
9. Slow down. In everything. With everything.
10. Embrace the gift(s) that you so eagerly hide and run away from.
11. If you need more friends, make them yourself. Don’t rely on others to do it for you.
12. It’s okay to cry. Even in front of others.
13. One day of laughter will heal 100 days of pain.
14. Your attitude sets the tone in your environment. Get it under control. Fast! Both for your sake and everyone else’s.
15. Work smart, not hard.
16. You can’t save the world. That’s God’s job.
17. Not everything that makes you feel good is good for you.
18. Spend as much time outdoors as indoors.
19. Have expectations, without entitlement.
20. Jesus died for you. You live for Him.

No matter what happens you will surpass your obstacles – so long as you keep moving forward.

Sincerely,

Future (and slightly wiser) Self