By now we’ve already established that I’m 30. Single. And Proud. But I’d be lying if I said that I never think about being in a relationship.
I’ve had my share of dating scenarios. I’ve been in love twice. In the aftermath the only thing I know to be true is that the next one will be the one to last forever. Third time’s the charm.
In preparing for forever I was led to ask myself the question. What do I really want? I used to think about this all the time and make those lists. You know the ones… “the perfect man” lists including things like “good kisser” and “top notch credit score”. Don’t judge! I know I am not the only one. As a matter of fact I have a friend who made a list with seemingly innumerable and impossible standards a few years back. Little did we know she would soon be with someone who embodied the entire list and more. (There’s something to be said about these types of standards and confessions, but that’s for another post).
So what’s my answer to the question? What will I say to people who prod and pry as to why I’m still single? It’s simple. I want that “Character Love”.
Being the list maker that I am – I went back to the good old days and made a list that embodies the “Character Love” that I need. It looks something like this:
- I want him to be handy like Bob The Builder.
- I want him to be adventurous like Sponge Bob.
- I want him to be a loyal sidekick like Diego and have an appetite for life like Cookie Monster.
- I want him to be loved by everyone like Elmo.
- I want him to be the best friend who keeps all of my secrets like Snuffleupagus.
- When we go out he’ll be the best dressed like Aladdin.
- I want him to be resourceful and outdoorsy like Shrek. And to love me even when he discovers I’m an actually an ogre.
- I want him to fiercely protect me, even unto death like Mufasa.
- He’ll be an unstoppable force in my life like Wolverine.
- He’ll be like Professor X; so in tune with me it’s like he’s reading my mind.
- There will be no issues with intimacy because he’s a Beast. (But of course we’ll keep that under wraps like Bruce Wayne).
- Whether we have Muppet Babies or Rugrats it won’t make any difference. Between the two of us they’ll have everything they could ever need.
- He loves God more than he loves me.
- He has a quick wit and a slow temper.
- He needs to challenge my insecurities and compliment my flaws.
- He won’t compete with me but strive for equal success.
- He can’t be too comfortable with the status quo.
- He should make me want to talk during my quiet times (first thing in the morning and as soon as I get home).
- He’ll accept my mood swings and understand the highs and lows.
- I want him to lead and urge me to follow.
- He values family as much as I do.
- He won’t be afraid to tell me the truth even when it hurts.
- He’ll see beyond my tough exterior to my vulnerabilities.
- He should think it’s perfectly logical to date ketchup packets. (It is!)
- He’ll never try to organize my junk drawer.
- He’ll want the middle brownie pieces so I can have the edge.
- He won’t judge me for adding a little more to my plate because he knows I have to eat my food in a perfect ratio.
- He respects the fact that I can live without him but I can’t live without ginger, lemon, and garlic.
- He finds my ability to take on more than I need to at every possible moment both admirable and detrimental. He will remind me to slow down.
In the end he will laugh when he reads this. He’ll get it because he “gets” me. He’ll give me a real answer when I ask the tough questions like, “Where in the world is Carmen San Diego”? In him I’ll entrust my heart and he’ll make me his one and only.
God has made us complete and lacking nothing but we’ll add to one another, forever having a surplus. We’ll have that “Character Love”; the kind that was predestined and built to last for eternity.
P.S. To the one: rest assured and know that you’ve been prayed for and thought about even before I knew your name. This is for you.